On the wind, He sends me a baby bird.
To dress in glory sunlight sheets
He clothes my heart with morning song
He lifts my face to see the rolling wings down
through the unreachable belief of a miracle.

I have wanted another child for at least five years. I was afraid to speak such a desire. I concealed my longing and disciplined myself to hush. And then I told Bryan. And then I told Madison. And then I began to pray. And then Bryan began sharing my desire. And the community that had been formed around our table from the Lord, divine friends beautiful and more real than trees, became close. And in relationships there is a point of progression to move on, or to leave. The stuff we conceal is protected by fear's walls. Friends, God-sent friends, can look into those places and identify. It happened. Miranda gave us hope. She worked for a place that could maybe help us. They couldn't in the end, but it gave our hope a fountain. I continued to pray every day, in the morning, on the porch with the Lord, giving it to Him, crying, surrendering. It was a long season of trusting Him either way. I trained my mouth to say, "Yes, Lord, your will be so in my life. Take this desire if it isn't from you. I don't want despair. I can be content if I have you and nothing else." The desire remained. I told my girls of my heart's desires. We prayed every meal, every morning, every night together for a baby. We made an appointment for Bryan to see his doctor, he referred us to another doctor. It was expensive. The Lord provided unseen money. He had a surgery in February. We carried, we cared for him for four weeks. He was weak, I loved him well. I saw a friend. Her husband had the same doctor, the same surgery, and she had a baby in her arms. She helped me hope. She gave me God's words. My friends helped me to pray, they asked, they loved me.
On Monday, May the 5th, we found out that God gave us a baby. On Tuesday, May 6th, my doctor confirmed and said it's a miracle. It's a miracle. Praise to the Lord the Almighty the King of Creation. Oh, My Soul Praise Him for He is my health and Salvation. All ye who hear, now to his temple draw near and praise Him with glad adoration. Our baby is due on January 12th, 2009. "Oh Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago." Isaiah 25: 1